Joke
By
Eric Dowd
Toronto
– Politics in Ontario has become deadly serious and it has had to turn
the clock back two decades to find a few laughs.
These
came when William Davis, premier from 1971-85, spoke to the Progressive
Conservative convention that chose a new leader and news media have never
stopped marveling at his sense of humor, as if it was something from
another planet.
Davis,
supposedly paying tribute to defeated premier Ernie Eves, began to a
standing ovation from Tories happy to remember times they were winners,
and beamed he would reconsider his retirement if balloting had not closed.
Davis
said until others praised Eves and his predecessor as premier, Mike
Harris, he did not realize how able they were or he would have stayed as
premier and `they could have carried me another 10 years.’
Eves
is renowned for his slicked-back hair and expensive suits, but Davis said
he was not going to refer to hair and pointed to his own, thinning and
gray.
He
said he would not mention suits because after he was chosen leader, Alan
Eagleson, then party president, told him `Davis, you have got to get a new
wardrobe’ and no-one ever offered such advice to Eves.
Davis
had been noted for brown and dark blue suits off the rack, but suddenly
emerged in custom-made pinstripes of all hues and while Eagleson later was
jailed for fraud, he was sounder in helping Davis look more a man of his
time.
Davis
chuckled he often flew close to Eves’s riding on his way to his cottage
in an Ontario Provincial Police helicopter, `always on government
business, of course, carrying all my studies of the issues facing
Ontario.’
Davis,
75, said a reporter asked if he hoped to see old friends and he replied
`at my age you don’t call anyone old friends – they are friends of
long standing.’
He
noticed a grandson of former premier Tom Kennedy and recalled when Kennedy
was agriculture minister and there was a heavy rain, he would announce
that was a $3 million rain for the farmers of Ontario.
`How
Tom Kennedy could calculate how many inches of rain meant how many
millions of dollars for farmers I never knew, ‘ Davis said. `He was the
only minister of agriculture who had that capacity.’
Davis
said he recruited Eves to run for MPP because he was respected locally,
although `not the world’s greatest lawyer -- but listen, a lot of people
said I wasn’t the world’s greatest lawyer. That’s why I went into
politics.’
Davis,
in the style of many comedians, interjected asides the audience
appreciated such as `how much longer till the votes are counted?’ and
`how much time do you want me to eat up?’
He lamented he had only a few notes scribbled on a slip of paper,
while the public relations executive who spoke before him `had six people
writing his speech for two weeks – I can’t afford that kind of help
any more.’
He
claimed his cabinet was divided when it designated Eves a Queen’s
Counsel, `but I voted for you. I have discovered when you are premier,
yours is the only vote that counts.’
Davis
left them laughing saying Eves won one riding election and the only person
who didn’t support him was his former track coach and a university
football friend of Davis, ‘ but he obviously hit his head too often,
because he ran as a Liberal candidate.’
None
of this is dazzling wit, but Ontario politics has been starved for humor.
The Liberals have not had a moment’s joy since being elected to
government because they are unable to pay for and broke promises.
The
Conservatives are reminded daily it will be tough to escape a record of
misusing millions and the New Democrats have not seen any sign voters even
consider them for government.
Usually
one party is up and others down, but all are down and they cannot see much
to joke about.
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